Dangers of the "Twilight" Sexual Fantasy

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Dangers of the "Twilight" Sexual Fantasy

On the surface, the "Twilight" books and movies are about vampires and werewolves. But beneath that story, Twilight is really about feminine instinct. It's also about sex, the psychological side of sex. In every frame of the Twilight movies, we see a young woman experiencing sexual desire, and the inner conflict it brings, for the first time.

Many women might find themselves swept up by the fantasy of being fawned and fought over by Edward the vampire and Jacob the werewolf in their gentlemanly quest to attend one woman's every emotional need. Do you long to experience such a  transcendent connection, perhaps with a non-vampire, flesh-and-blood real man? Well if you do, don't take "Twilight" too seriously.

That's because the "Twilight" fantasy, although deeply feminine, is too immature for the real world of relationships. Here are some of the benefits and hazards of the "Twilight" fantasy. If you haven't seen the latest movie, Twilight: Breaking Dawn - Part 1, or read the book, beware there are plot spoilers below:

The Benefits and Dangers of the "Twilight" Sexual Fantasy 

Let's cut to the big events of the fourth movie:

After marrying Edward the vampire, Bella loses her virginity on her honeymoon, becomes pregnant with a baby that might or might not be a vampire, and later gives birth to a seemingly human daughter. Upon seeing the baby, Jacob the werewolf "imprints" on Bella's daughter.

Jacob's imprint on the baby means the he will protect the baby with his life, forever. And the other werewolves are bound not to harm the girl. Both Jacob and Edward are present during the birth, and Bella nearly dies. At Jacob's behest, Edward bites Bella in an effort to make her immortal before she can die as a human. At the end of the movie, it's clear: Bella has become a vampire!

What a dark, rich and powerful feminine fantasy

Consider the benefits Bella receives, without really having to work or contribute: She has a child that will be protected and raised by Jacob, even though Jacob is not the father. She'll never have to worry about the child's safety as long as Jacob is near. 

But Bella doesn't have to marry the working class guy and rough-around-the edges werewolf, Jacob. Instead, Bella gets to marry - and have her child sired by - the aristocratic vampire, Edward, who carries her away to a secluded beach honeymoon in Brazil.

Bella gets to live forever as a vampire, forever served by two men, one her husband and the other a permanent caretaker of her child. Vampires are the ultimate narcissists, metaphorically-speaking, by living off the blood of humans and sucking the life out of them. Both Edward and Jacob are perfect gentlemen toward Bella. Their rivalry is born of genuine love for her, and when they fight, it's alway to her benefit, and each guy gives in to the other for her good. Bella's life is a fantasy in which all female desires are fulfilled without effort on her part. 

If you're familiar with the Seventh Sense and Complete Feminine Empowerment programs, you've learned about the scientific definition of femininity, which calls for a women to secure resources from the world, and from men specifically. It's feminizing when a man devotes himself, commits and does things for you.

In Twilight, Bella experiences the rapturous height of femininity.

And there's nothing wrong with it. It's completely natural for a woman to want "resources" from a man. It's instinctual. Now, what must she give in return to have a mature relationship?

The "Twilight" stories are adolescent. The teenage characters operate in a world  of werewolves and vampires that the adults, such as Bella's father, have no clue exists. Isn't that the way that adolescence feels? The adults are unaware of the instinctual and hormonal drives thrashing around underneath the surface, manifesting themselves in high school dramas, romances and cliques. For fans of the series, this is fun entertainment. Adolescent girls watch the movies in rapt attention.

It's very healthy for adolescent girls to revel in feminine fantasy, just like it's healthy for young boys to identify with the masculine fantasies acted out in action movies. When we are growing up as young women and men, we need to "revel" in our femininity and our masculinity. During our first relationships, our instincts are tested by the requirements of sustaining an actual relationship with another person who is our opposite in instinct.

This is where courtship comes into play. Young men learn what they need to do to make a woman feel special or even committed to in order to get what they want, which is - let's face it - the sex. Young women enjoy sex, of course, but feel a most deeply feminine when a man shares his resources with her, not just money and sex but also time as well as the psychological resources such as emotional support, even sense of humor.

Now, I'll editorialize a little bit. When I observe our culture (at least in the United States) and the relationships of many of my close friends and acquaintances, I sense that the "Twilight" fantasy actually might be a real expectation that many women harbor with regard to their relationships with men. And I'm don't mean just adolescent girls. I mean that a lot of grown women seem to expect to receive resources from men without having to pursue the kind of "win-win" courtship that we encourage in our Seventh Sense program. 

This is not to say it's wrong to want to receive resources from a man. It's very right and natural.

But the other side of the courtship seems to be lost. When we miss crucial steps of courtship, it can lead to immature and potentially destructive to relationships in the real world with actual men who are not "Twilight"-styled vampires or werewolves.

In the films, Bella receives so much from Jacob and Edward without much effort on her part, rendering those stories an adolescent fantasy. The good news is that you can find your own "Twilight" fantasy come true with a great man, if you take the time to learn the dance of courtship. It's all in the Seventh Sense program.