What It Means When Women Don't Admire Men Anymore

It means that a full attraction for you cannot occur, and this becomes an "Achilles Heel" for later on, if a relationship does develop between you.

Disastrous for both genders.

Maybe you have at some point had a breakup. No, for sure at some point you've had a breakup, whether it's a divorce or simply the end of a string of dates. And leading up to that point you've felt a distance from him, a disrespect certainly or even a disdain. He probably quoted someone as saying that you "don't seem to appreciate him enough" if he even goes that far above falling often silent. Maybe he said that his job is overwhelming (which is really man-speak for a request to invest interest and care in his career dreams, stresses, and need for being honored in importance alongside your joint schedule, childcare, and quality time together.

One thing he will almost never say because he doesn't even have the words, is that somewhere inside, men also need to feel the woman is committed BACK to them, and that what words, actions, and spirit tell him this is true - you don't only love him, but are also committed to him (an entirely separate part of the brain from love.) He is used to hearing this phrase from women in his own past, but actually wishes he could say it to you and still feel like a man rather than complaining: you "need to work harder on the relationship.""

Chances are that when you noticed that he talks less, shares less, and seems to work more, you might even have felt hurt by that. Meanwhile, he was thinking something entirely different. He noticed that he doesn't feel too many places in life that tell him how valuable he is - the bad economy, cultural changes, and a lot of messages he sees in the media tell him this at least implicitly. The statistics also support it, with 2/3 - 3/4 of college graduates being women now, for the first time ever, more women have jobs, and those who do actually make more than men for the same job (with one proviso - no children.) You want to be with a hard-working guy who is honest and not lazy, but you want quality time too...

But you don't know about what we call the Equation of Masculinity - which says that a male's sense of masculinity (the same as feeling vital and passionate about life, about you, and about himself) equals his skill with women (if single, or the quality of relationship in his specific experience, if exclusive) plus his progress in a career mission. Not just "having a job" but literally being on a mission for his life.

If, for no intentional reason (and he won't tend to ask, complain or beg for this) you don't do much patting on the back, words or actions of interest in his career or admiration of who he is, he doesn't get his sense of masculinity fed by the relationship, and the only other item of the equation being career progress - the only variable he truly does control - he then dives into work.

When he does this it amplifies his sense of passion and vitality, which does indeed benefit you too - it means that he has more passion to bring back into the relationship. He gets it from the career world, then brings it home to you, hoping he will get an equal amount of passion back.

Which leads us to why we teach men about the Equation of Femininity. That he needs to be a source of YOU feeling vital, passionate and alive by way of your femininity. But then again we all see how and why to do that in nearly every magazine, television show, and quite a few movies.

Even though we are talking about committed relationships here, the beginnings of this long-term skill with men actually begins in the second step of sexual attraction, when you are still just relative strangers, flirting...

In some circles, it might even be politically incorrect to say it, because so many people have been hurt in PAST relationships (and we all naturally tend to "project" our past experiences and people onto CURRENT ones) - but the single most stand out attraction or flirtation skill missing in today's western dating culture is this:

It's the ability to ADMIRE a man.

It's gone.

I had the unfortunate (but compelling) experience last year to be in Britain, where a UK woman summed up for me what she viewed as the difference between American and British men. She said, "Sorry to inform you, but American men are considered dishonorable until proven otherwise, while British men are still (barely so) considered honorable until proven otherwise."

I was stunned, but immediately knew exactly what she was talking about. It's the same thing I've heard from men who actually invest a lot of money just to go abroad to find dates with the potential to find long term relationships (yes, men do want them, only if they offer a feeling that masculinizes them.)

Women are right and to be commended for seeking empowerment. And all human beings - the other half - ought to do so as well. It's that sometimes we see so many atrocious things about the state of modern marriage that we forget that even after walking down the aisle, we are stll both in the relationship voluntarily, out of free will. We never own each other or owe each other - every interaction is a voluntary gift, woman to man and man to woman. It's no wonder so many being at a loss as to why they can't find love that also has commitment. We both have to work for it, fifty-fifty:

Part of courtship - "Step Two" for women that I lay out in the Seventh Sense Program - must include a sense of the woman admiring a man in a nonverbal way, letting him know that he is liked, could be loved, and is preferred over other men.

Luckily, women still have an unconscious that, quite logically, operates without their conscious control, and in their body language and behavior, they silently do the reflex behavior - tilting of the head, smiling, gazing with a barely perceptible flutter of the eyes that still reveals, after thousands of years of evolution, they still do want men and desire them.

Thank God we still have an unconscious mind. It very well may save the future of dating from temporary cultural fads and the cycle of what is politically correct.

What other teachers won't tend to tell you is that romance is a dance for two - not just the woman getting her needs satisfied or the man rebelling against the cultural norm to practice "better game" in order to get his own needs satisfied.

Step two of sexual attraction has a step for women AND a step for men.

As in much of life, it is ladies first here too.

She expresses admiration for men that is real and heartfelt. It may not be in words, but it is most certainly in body language at the very least.

She signals men with her smile, and her tilt of the head, her gaze, and her grooming of herself while looking deep in their eyes.

Most men don't notice this at first, and it's diminished by plenty of advice out there regarding the perils of "stroking the fragile male ego."

It's not a fragile ego that men have at all. It's a necessary and valid step of human courtship that proves yes, this woman prefers him over other men and may therefore be worth investing in. There is a promise of commitment in return for commitment.

It's a call for gentlemanly behavior on his part, demonstrating his wares as a man, an invitation to show what he is made of, and what resources he possesses that could very much benefit her should she decide to align with him in something more than just a light dating relationship.

When women complain of men's lack of gentlemanliness, or their singleminded focus on sex, some women don't stop to wonder whether they have done the immediate step that precedes the gentlemanliness - showing men that they admire something about them (which usually needs to be about their careers if it is to be most effective.)

Last time we covered the very first step of sexual attraction that falls upon men to deliver on - to be a source of curiosity or mystery to the woman. On the woman's part, men are very visual, and what you do with your appearance - we all are forced to admit - truly is the first thing to grab their attention and interest. If that weren't true, the cosmetics and fashion industries wouldn't be the first and second oldest industries in the world.

Today's lesson is to notice that when you do find a man who really understands women, and he lets you know how attractive you are to him, it is your turn to show her your interest in return.

The way to do this has nothing to do with sexual prowess, and everything to do with what kind of friend and partner you might be like in terms of teamwork - it need not have anything to do with sexual chemistry either. It's that people like to know they are liked - coming from a confidence, not just a crush, and what may benefit his life about you.

Step Two of attraction for men involves showing the woman the gentlemanliness, and doing something for her that demonstrates it - whether it's making her feel safe, or listening attentively to her.

Women DO need a man who is dominant and assertive and sexy - an alpha-male - and yet they also need a man of character and maturity whatever your age.

If all he has is character, then you may peg him as a nice, reliable guy who is not so sexy.

And if all he has is machismo to the nth power, you may be briefly attracted, but quickly discount his value as a man for not having that "edge" to him that says, yes, I am a courteous man, but I am a man.

Most women who have been through a breakup know that something happens in the man to diminish her sense of being a valuable benefit to his life. It's not something that anyone wants to admit, but let's face it. If you lose interest in a man, he's not been so valuable to your life, and the reverse is also true.

Hold out for the man to see your value, and don't accept one who doesn't have the capacity to appreciate you. But there are so very many ways to learn "man language" - decoding for you, what exactly it is that makes a man value a woman. Not the same things you value about men.

We cover this all in the Seventh Sense Program on dating and relationships, and it always comes with the 500$ training program called the Virtual Dating Coach for free.

Well I want to go further than that for you. We have a new program out, called Feminine Intelligence in Breaking Up (Or Winning Him Back)... I'd like to give that to you as well, for FREE, when you get the Seventh Sense Program at normal price. The first 50 women who get this deal also get ONE YEAR of free "breakup insurance" - in which a dedicated cell phone only for you, and a dedicated email address only for you have me immediately available day or night for the time surrounding a breakup if you encounter one.

I hope you take advantage of this offer, as only 50 women will get it.

See you next time for the third and final step of sexual attraction in human courtship!