Men and Relationships

Remember the first car that you bought for, perhaps, $500? The car transported you from place to place, and that was more than enough to make you value the car highly. You likely told friends that it was worth much more than $500 to you. Currency is a measure of value of something to us, irrespective of the the labor, time, energy, or love we put into that which we value.

On the way to London recently to train women at how to attract, date and form quality relationships with quality men who are right for them, I came across some stunning actual scientific findings from evolutionary psychology. In fact, the results were so rigorous and convincing that it seemed that they would surely shoot holes in what I was about to teach. After all, women worldwide want to find what works for them to become more accomplished in the area, to actually have some control and power over their lives.

We often lump men together as all being cut from the same cloth, and while to a certain extend it is possible to count on masculine instincts to be uniform across demographic boundaries - the desire for rank, a career focus, appreciation of the feminine form, territoriality and even aggression - there are some fascinating subtleties to the drives and ambitions of men as they go about their psychological development through the decades.

We've all been there before - fallen hard for the object of our desire. It was most likely in secondary school for most, the first time it happened, but can occur at any time in one's lifetime. "Falling hard" in love is called "limerance" by psychologists, which means "dreamy" at its root, but is an evolutionarily protective, needed, and at once, hazardous condition of being human. And of having the capacity for love.