help... agressive husband

[lowriderzzz]

Hello, I don't know who to seek help from and how to help my husband. We are together for 7 years and have 2 beautiful kids. We don't have financial problems or other people messing in our interactions, neither in sexual aspect as well. However my husband has a huge problem with himself. He gets very irritated for every little thing, even stuff that I wouldn't suppose could annoy him. In each my action and behavior he projects some hidden evil meaning, and when he gets upset he gets drunk afterward he gets very angry and then says he doesn't remember anything. He doesn't gets along well with anybody, neither me neither his parents (which are very nice people and try to help him in every way), he doesn't have any friends. Everyone is "garbage" for him. Anyway in a moments of clarity he loves us and is very kind, but those moments tend to get more and more rare. Recently he gets worst when he gets angry and drunk he gets mentally irresponsible. I tried to threaten him that I will leave with the children to what he replied that he could kill us. When I ask him how is he he says that its like his heart is stopping. It happens his body to shiver, and when I ask him to seek a medical help he angrily refuses. I please him to stop drinking but he refuses that as well. I don't know what to do. I need an advice.
Thank you.

[ArtMuse]

Hi lowriderz ~

So glad you have found your way to womenshappiness.com and Dr. Paul and his materials. Welcome...you've a soft place to land here; eyes and fingers to read and respond to the best of our ability, cyberspace considered.

First thing ~ who can you go to, in person, for help and safety for both you and your children?
He may be your husband, and yet if you are threatened, and in danger, then safety becomes the more important aspect. You cannot control him, you can only control what you do, and what you decide to do next, and how you react to your current situations and it's challenges.
We are remote from you, therefore in-person assistance is your best lifeline at this time. Are you a member of a church or religious group? Can you go to your own parents or your inlaws for help? Is there a close friend, nearby, in whom you confide?
You mention your inlaws, and obviously they see and are aware of his behavior; do they understand the challenges (and danger) you and your children face...?
If not, perhaps now is the time to speak to them.

It's an anxious and emotional time, and your concerns are valid. I encourage you to reach out to someone you trust, someone in-person, close by and close to you, who can help you do what you must to keep your children and yourself safe.

Write down the details of your situation, and keep track of what is happening day to day. It will help you to organize your thoughts, and direct your emotional energy towards helpful and productive action. You might also write down some goals or contingency plans for the "what ifs".

Even if those 'what ifs' include you and your children removing yourselves from his proximity...as scary as that idea might be, take time to investigate local women's shelters, and perhaps give a call to see what options are available. You are an intelligent, lovely woman, a mother; use your abilities and do what you can to be prepared.

Please let us know how you progress ~
L'Art