YOU SPEAK OUT!

[HereIAm]

Hi again everyone,

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am concentrating on trying to return to a field I spent ~23+ years in, and that is IT. I have talked to several people and found out that zero people that they know have returned to IT after being out a long time. The economy started tanking again in 1997 and then again around 2001 and here we are again tanked like a flailing submarine and we are in deep. I met an interesting woman who is doing a study on why so many women left IT starting in 1997 for a range of years, and most likely didn't return. She wanted to know the reasons from these women including other particulars. You must understand that at least 40% of the women left a field, which has never happened before in history that she knows of. There was at least one article written about this and it was broadcasted on the news. I spoke to a retired HR man recently, and his response was, "That's easy. Women did not get the recognition and the pay they deserved as men did." This is true in my case also. I am a part of this study and can't divulge more of my reasons at this time, but want you to consider your field and how you are treated by men/people (with certain personalities).

Currently, I am in the mode of job seeking after taking 6 courses in 7 weeks from the end of March until mid April. I am still studying for one exam, and have passed two of them already. These are for certifications. I have been to the a Transition Workshop, two different Job Clubs in fairly close proximity of my home. The methods of job searching has changed and is more refined, not saying it is good or bad, but it is more intricate. I have learned more about myself and how to relate that information to my job search or next position. This process of finding the best type of position for me is somewhat interesting since I had never done this before. I was told by another HR man that this is a normal process for men and they have probably have gone through this several times in their life as opposed to women who probably have not. I don't think it has to do with being in a particular generation either based on his comment. Here I Am, a woman with three degrees and numerous other courses that I probably have enough credits for a PhD and I have never been through this process!! What has been going on or should I say not going on when it comes to women?

There are so many steps to this job seeking process you tend to get bogged down and wonder if it is just busy work. Well, I have found the string of how it all ties together even before others one just happens to be man from India who has been in this country for 20 years. I needed the courses to activate a fire within me and now I am getting charged up by my competency as I look at others. This is a good thing....a very good thing.

As I went along this process I had to be open, and at some point I had to say to someone that I would do what they told me to do. I recently said to myself that I would continue and do what it takes to complete this transitional work they want me to do. Some of it is a lot of reflection and you should probably not just expect to finish it over night. One book I am using has 10 chapters and many things to do in each Chapter. Other books have been mentioned. One book that I received from the author notefully signed is an easy read and will be very helpful.

I am going to meet with a woman who counsels people to help find their life purpose and I am looking forward to that. Who doesn't want to know their life purpose? I am meeting with a man that helps people in the entrepreneurial vein of business. I do not know what will come out of those meetings, but should be interesting. I am working with at least four retired and working HR men. I met with one of them recently for over 2 hours discussing some of my assessments and I think he is going to offer some knowledgeable help. I have a list of mentors, men and women, that are relatively available, and it is so interesting meeting so many people that have such interesting backgrounds. Remember, I was not a person that interacted and delved into people's lives before. I was more contained most of my life. I also am going to go to group sessions with a psychologist which has to do with problems that may be hindering one's job search. That starts in August. As I may have told you is that this time in my life is feeling as if I am a student away from home, which is not really the case, but I feel the world is teaching me a great deal. I never knew how much is really out in the world, and yes, I am working on dealing not ending up in the pitfalls. This is where accountabilty groups and people in certain clubs are helping.

I still have not ventured out with dating yet, but that day will come. I am getting closer with that. I am making friends and meeting people along the way, that is more important to my psychological health. I recently looked into a grieving support group in my area along with interest groups that I may be getting involved in. I have read several books and can probably almost pinpoint certain traits with people that help me to decide rather quickly if I want to continue any relationship with them or not. I'm still practicing with this and is based on books I have read. Actually, I think I decide rather quickly, and then still am a bit open to see if there is really any possibility which means they will be friends because I continue to talk to them. During the grieving process it was so easy to have those rose-colored glasses on, and to feel that connection but it was all in my mind and not theirs. They were in a different place in their mind altogether. Their reasons and experiences were so different yet they had some idea of where I was at in my mind. My awareness and my sensitivity was so heightened that it was off the charts. I took everything very slowly and still do. I give everyone time to think, and do and be. I like that feeling so much. They may not be exactly where I am at, but they know that I am bringing things out in them that they might not without my presence. I do have it as my goal to be the best Lover some day, and make them the best Lover they can be. This does take some preparation and research before I do the field work. I am still considering obtaining those advanced psychology books I have been interested in for so long.

I have listened to various speakers and have learned quite a lot from their knowledge base including some related to relationships not just job seeking. This time for me is so important, and I dare not fool with what may be a life changing direction for me. It is a critical step that may emerge from all of this, and I have to be careful when I take it. My life may take a whollaping new direction as in a major 360+ turn.

So, yes, I have been busy. One of my daughters is returning to the Chicago suburbs this week after being gone for some time with college and work, but that is not impacting any decision I may make for me. I am like I said that high school or college kid, that only thinks about her self. I don't have to think about anyone else at the moment, so am not harbored by any responsibility. I don't even have a pet any longer. It's a very good feeling at times.

So, now you know where I am at a bit and when I post you will have some context of where I may be coming from.

;-D Stay healthy and happy....

[ArtMuse]

HereIAm ~

So good to "see" you again!
Your post is wonderful, and I can certainly feel your passion regarding the positive changes and direction your life is taking. ...and it's all powered by YOU!
Your current preparations will ensure your ability to take advantage of the opportunities as they present themselves.
Way to live an intentional life!

Yes, we shall stay healthy and happy, and if we're not there, then work towards getting to that goal.

Cheers!
L'Art

[Cheryl]

Hello, Here I Am!!

I was hoping you would come back and have more to share. You have some amazing journal-type posts here. I hope you have printed these out to save to read again in a few years, so you can come back to your words and see how far you traveled.

One of my favorite quotes by a businessman is "Luck is preparation meeting opportunity."

You have certainly been doing a lot of preparation!

With all you are doing right now to ensure your success, I am wondering also if you have checked out Dr. Paul's "Complete Feminine Empowerment" program? See the blue/aqua link to the right -----> and up ----- ^. You might find interesting that Dr. Paul addresses your question in this program about finding a life purpose (and offers a solution,) among other topics that could be helpful to you right now. What you can do with this program that you cannot do with all of those psychology books is to get one-on-one very personal help directly from Dr.Paul and his coaches to apply the principals in the program to your life and direct answers to your questions.

Personally, I have not known anyone to go through so much work to find a job. Mine have always practically fallen into my lap and amazed me how doors opened I didn't even know were available. But, I also believe in Santa Claus, Magic and a higher Divine source. Psychology is great help with tools and insights, but sometimes one also has to have faith and take a risk.

Do you feel ready for a job right now? Can you stand up on the inside and declare to the Universe that you are ready to serve others with your talents? Do you know exactly what type of meaningful work you desire to have? Have you defined the value you are prepared to offer others in exchange for this meaningful opportunity to serve?

Or, are you keeping so busy with job preparation that you are avoiding that feeling of fear we all get when faced with the unknown? Because at least it feels like you are doing SOMETHING! Yes? Starting a new career and actually getting what you want has some element of fear of the unknown attached to it.

And finding friends? With very few exceptions (based on intuition) I mostly believe in and trust in people until they give me a reason(s) not to. At that moment, one just shuts the door in one's boundary, chalk it up to experience, and open one's heart to someone else.

Keep on your path, sister.

Hugs.
Cheryl

[HereIAm]

HereIAm ~. ...and it's all powered by YOU!
Your current preparations will ensure your ability to take advantage of the opportunities as they present themselves.
Way to live an intentional life! L'Art

Well the interesting thing is that it is not powered by me. It started with taking IT related courses, and thinking that I could accomplish more than what I have done, and that included having a mentor or mentors. This sounded much more empowering where I would be able to have more of an impact that possibly ever before.

Why we have to go through all this type of prep work to change a resume and basically have a marketing plan is not quite defined to me. It is just a way to work within the systems that are in place, and you still have to know how to work with the people and their opinions to get a job. If it was up to me I would not be doing all this prep work. You might get too caught up in the process, so you have to keep the goals in the forefront of your mind.

[Cheryl]

Does all your preparation also include the impact that cloud computing will be having on the internet? As this is the future trend in computing.

[HereIAm]

Does all your preparation also include the impact that cloud computing will be having on the internet? As this is the future trend in computing.

Actually, that is only a small part of IT. Cloud computing has to do with making user systems easier to use, but with anything in IT there are problems before it becomes a system with less 'bugs'. There seems always to be someone that wants to break a system in one way or another. There are positive and negatives to any change within an IT system, and one has to evaluate what the change would accomplish if done. Again, remember there are always problems initially. The one thing with Cloud computing is endeavoring to provide is so that people do not have to deal with viruses, hackers, cookies, etc. because hopefully that would be done at another site, and you just access the server. This does have some problems to doing it that way, and increases the probability of affecting more people if the Cloud system is jepordized along with the supplemental systems.

Think of it as Yahoo getting your mail. You do not have to maintain your mail on your system, it is kept elsewhere. That is a good analogy of what Cloud computing is.

My recent courses do not deal with any of those issues or topics.

[HereIAm]

Through this process of inquiry, research and reflection I find that people are much more complex than originally thought. If there are various interpretations of humans, then there are multi-faceted topics that give way to a different interpretation of humans. This naturally increases the number of variables humans have in order to understand them(selves).

One of the interesting places to delve into is why is it that some people are so devastated, hit-hard, knocked-down, in a rut, get stuck, depression...whatever you want to call it. This entire process of how we take what other people give us and have it affect us, is fascinating. Why can we not build fabricated armor through education and knowledge to stop the impact of all that can happen to us in our life? Even though we know about something, does not make us un-vulnerable to its affect.

The other part of that equation is how to get out of the negative spot and go into the more positive. How do you get out of the rut someone put you in by their words or actions? Some times you do not even know you are in a place that is unhealthy for you, but there you are none the less. At different times in your life you are more sensitive and vulernable, and yet you do not know what to do to improve your being to be stronger or less vulnerable.

Then, the next part is how to sustain that better/positive level after you are out of your rut and do not want to return to that condition or worse. We need the keys to be mentally balanced and successful in managing our lives. I do not know of anyone that has the answers to this problem yet. They take a stab at it, and may offer some solution, but it is not the entire solution for everyone and is not sustaining. There are many factors that put you in a slump, or change your way of thinking. We need an overall method for various personality types based on many factors to produce the best results, and I don't mean let's all go smoke some weed and maybe that will make us all feel better. I mean organic, physical, verbal, auditory, light, heat, ice, or some other method that can help with getting out of that slump/rut/depression that doesn't take years to get out of.

[Cheryl]

Hello, again, HereIAm.

I have never been a smoker, so, the smoking weed part wouldn't work for me; would have to be baked in a brownie--it's the chocolate / woman thing, you know.

What an interesting juxtaposition of posts here between the operating of cloud computing and your human operating questions. Did you notice the comparisons?

For the cloud computing, Richard Stallman sees problems in the way:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/20 ... d.stallman

For the human operating questions, for those interested, Dr. Paul does address this in his Mind OS program at the link located to the right ----> and up -----^. Reading the program description, one may find answers to many of your questions here already.

"How do you get out of the rut someone put you in by their words or actions?"

I would pose to someone to ask themselves if the comments/actions directed to them have any merit. Is it true about them in some way. If so, they have an opportunity for change and growth if one is willing to take the comments to heart. However, if the comments/actions are mean-spirited and/or unmerited only, from my perspective, I would not "own" them--simply seeing them as someone's personal opinion only. If a hurtful assault, is an opportunity to practice forgiveness. I was just discussing forgiveness recently with someone off-forum. This is the means by which we keep our own well waters clean by not harboring thoughts of ill will or revenge against another. Because we are not immune from "what goes around, comes around" as well, we escape the results of our own ill wishes being visited back to us, and often greatly multiplied.

Humans are wired to desire experiencing pleasure and escaping pain. We get into trouble when we use pleasurable experiences to escape pain--smoking that weed, drinking that alcohol, shopping or any other pleasurable past time specific to each individual. This works--temporarily, and unfortunately often leads to addictions and no personal growth.

One can visit their family doctor to discuss the possibility a medication may help. This needs to be seen as a temporary solution, and often the family physician will refer the person to an appropriate counseling psychologist or psychiatrist in conjunction with use of the medication for medical management.

In the end, however, personal growth is always the way out of that slump/rut/ and depression.

Again, Dr. Paul addresses this with solutions in his Mind OS program.

While not an actual practicing Buddhist, I do like the teachings of Buddhism and find them helpful from a psychological growth perspective. I even keep a copy on my desk of His Holiness the Dalai Lama's book, How to Practice the Way to a Meaningful Life. An example teaching of "The Value of Difficult Circumstances," "For a practitioner of love and compassion, an enemy is one of the most important teachers. Without an enemy you cannot practice tolerance, and without tolerance you cannot build a sound basis of compassion. So, in order to practice compassion, you should have an enemy." (pg 75.)

You mentioned in a previous post that in August you were starting group sessions with a psychologist for what may be hindering your job search. I hope this is being helpful to you.

Cheers.

[ArtMuse]

"...algorithms that enable software to learn how to respond with a degree of intelligence to new information or events."
http://www.technologyreview.com/computing/26093/

[Cheryl]

As always, ArtMuse, your resourcefulness has no limitations.

Interesting article. Now, if these tech people could just come up with a way to make this work with those automated phone systems so it feels more like talking to a real human being........

I forgot to mention in my last post in reference to contacting a family physician to discuss medication for depression....

Sometimes what feels like a slump/rut/depression that goes on for years can be attributable to a physical health problem--such as anemia, fibromyalgia (especially if migrating pains throughout the body), hypertension, prediabetes or even diabetes (you would be surprised how many people have this and don't know) hormonal imbalances (as in menopause either pre- peri- or postmenopause, thyroid probblems and even nutritional deficiencies.

Many times what seems like situational stressors can also cause those physical health problems when the stress is prolonged--as in burning the candle at both ends and ending up exhausting one's adrenal glands or stressing one's heart (especially with valvular problems in some people), even getting ulcers and raising one's blood pressure.

Always a good idea to make a decision to no longer continuing to suffer (see Mind OS) and getting some help as soon as possible. A complete history and physical with a familiy physician can help rule out both physical and psychological health problems and help a person get themselves out of that slump/rut/ and depression with insight and appropriate medical therapy.

Life is always going to throw obstacles in our paths to stress and test us, if not even knock us down. If one finds themselves unable to bounce back quickly and move forward instead of staying stuck, please do not be shy about seeking medical attention--it's why we have doctors--as well as helping oneself through maturing, and learning new skills for stronger boundaries (as in gaining new insights and skills via what you can find here through Dr. Paul's Mind OS program, too.)

Best wishes.

[HereIAm]

While not an actual practicing Buddhist, I do like the teachings of Buddhism and find them helpful from a psychological growth perspective. I even keep a copy on my desk of His Holiness the Dalai Lama's book, How to Practice the Way to a Meaningful Life. ...

You mentioned in a previous post that in August you were starting group sessions with a psychologist for what may be hindering your job search. I hope this is being helpful to you.

Thank you for the book recommendation. I will look into the book.

I am in a group therapy for job searchers with problems. The first session we all talked about our problems and afterwards I felt it was so negative. The women talked much more than the men. I missed the next two sessions due to temp work. The second session the men were more eager to say they wanted to hear people's stories, and they were offering more help or an objective opinion. I found that interested. The women were more quiet.

The first man is single, 52, and has been in a very successful family business for 30+ years along with this brother. He is an intelligent man but is trying to sell his parents home and then they will move in with him. The entire family has gone out of business except for the sister who is no in that business. So, he feels like he is doing all this and his siblings are not helping at all.

The next man is married, 60 or 61, and is struggling with trying to decide if he should semi-retire and work PT or just look for FT work. I don't think that is such a big problem. There is not much work anywhere. He is a rather negative person; one of those half empty people.

The first woman was divorced from a battered husband, age w/b 55-65, had a boyfriend who is crazy and abusive in many ways. Anything she says she is going to do he gets nuts and throws things around and basically wants her gone yet it is her house but he is paying the mortgage. It's a very weird relationship prior to this is my guess. He work was in real estate. She spends time living in a horrible place since the boyfriend won't let her back into her own home. This man is very destructive 6' 4", 300+ lbs, and a black belt in something.... a psycho it sounds like.

The next man is married and is 50 something, and is going to a marriage counselor with his wife. He had a good job and was put into a low paying job since everyone else was cut he was kept. He doesn't like the job, is not happy, and then brings his problems home. The wife at first didn't sound like she was that supportive. He likes to read and offers various thoughts to the group.

The next woman is 50+, divorced is my guess and had a boyfriend at some point. She is losing her condo I think, has been out of work for 3 years and is being prodded by her brother to find something. This makes her feel bad because he keeps telling her she should find something. Well, there isn't much out there. She is living in the past a bit, longs for an old job that she liked, and feels she can't get back there. Well, it is possible to do but she doesn't feel that way. She doesn't do much in her life but sit in her condo most of the time on the computer, applies online and goes out once or twice a week. She is looking for a new boyfriend I gather.

Then there is me that is getting closer to finding a definition of myself, a preference to jobs, culture, company, ideas for a new business, and transitioning in many ways in my life it seems. One person thought that I hold onto things that have happened to me (negative things).

I am reading more things about being positive, You are What You Think, is a good book. I am looking into bringing much more positives into my life. I am about to re-evaluate my life and what to bring things closer to me. It's almost after my evaluation of my self that I need someone to tell me go do this, or go do that, or this would be good for you so look into that.... in order to get me to do what I need to do for me. I think that's called prodding. This is another reason why I am looking into self-motivation which I find difficult to do.

[HereIAm]

The groups was facilitated by a three certificated social worker, but now we have a new man and I don't know his credientials.

When I get a chance I will post some questions.