Teleseminar questions

[Delboca]

As you all know, each Monday (or Tuesday, depending on the week) Dr Paul holds a teleseminar.

During this teleseminar, even though there's usually a topic of the week (something to organize ourselves around), you can submit ANY question that you want and it doesn't have to be related to the particular topic of the teleseminar.

You can submit questions online, or you can call in and talk to Dr Paul directly. Either way, you can always download the teleseminar recording afterward as an mp3.

Now, knowing that this is such a great opportunity for my growth and knowledge of this material, I tend to like having at least one or two questions each week, to submit online for Dr Paul to answer.
However, many times Monday arrives and I suddenly notice I have forgotten all about the questions that had come up during the week. So I've decided that, whenever I think of a cool question to ask Dr Paul at the teleseminars (where he can answer in MUCH MORE DETAIL than by regular email), I'm gonna post it here as a reminder to myself.

Then, each week, I'll select one or two questions and submit it for the teleseminars. I invite you to give me your suggestions here as well, to see if any good question comes up.

[Delboca]

The 1st question I was planning to ask this coming week was the following:

If I understood correctly, a woman is most sexually attracted to a guy's mysteriousness.
Now, sometimes women have a very hard time "falling out of love" with a "bad boy" (or jerk) they used to date (meaning, a low character but very sexually attractive man). They cannot help but still feel very passionate about him.

On the other hand, there are other relationships in which the man somehow stops being mysterious to a woman, and her sexual attraction toward him diminishes. (He wasn't very good at maintaining his mystery).

Now, here's the question:
Knowing all this, is there any way that a woman can somehow use this knowledge to her advantage when it comes to "no longer being attracted" to a "bad boy" she used to date? Is there any way that she could "no longer find him mysterious", so as to finally be over him?

I ask because, clearly, she is not attracted to the bad boy's character, nor to his friendship ability. She is just attracted to his reptilian brain skills.

Does the notion of labeling the guy as a Tool or Douchebag help her at this? (since she would be reaching a definite conclusion about the guy in her mind)

[Les is more]

This a great idea Delboca, thanks!

I have a friend that is going through this heartbreak right now actually. Getting over the heartache of someone where there was HUGE chemistry, and little else. We were talking about it, and we think it's a cruel joke that mother nature plays on us, when we are so attracted to someone and yet, all that MEANS is that the sex will be good. That's it. BUT emotionally, that is a tough one, because we always think there is more meaning there than there actually is. It's not the logic, its the emotion that screws us up.

And the thing about labeling someone a tool, well that's all fine and dandy, and might be helpful in the short term to get over him, but the reality of that is that it's Win/Lose as we are being judgmental about someone else. I think it's helpful to just look deeper into the 'tools' reasoning, and then it becomes clear, it's just 'where they are at'. And it doesn't jive with 'where we are at'. I think women too often think it's 'rejection' when in fact, it may not be at all, it might be a million other things, and yet we all seem to use this sort of scenario as a reason to beat ourselves up.

[Les is more]

Hey Delboca, where do you want to discuss the answers that were given?

Left brained organization needed, your the expert!

[Delboca]

Here: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=1299

[Delboca]

Damn, and once again it's Monday and I don't have any questions to submit.

Any suggestions, girls?

[Les is more]

Well, we are talking about commitment tonight, and I would like to know how to truely live with an open heart...so that we are ready to receive...I mean, it's too easy for women to say that men can't commit, but we play a part too...how do we live life and be OPEN, especially since that leaves us vulnerable....

[Delboca]

A question that just came to mind:


Hi Dr Paul,
This question has to do with screening a potential friend or business partner for high character. Hypothetical situation:

Suppose you meet a guy and you hit it off well as far as friendship and career partnership goes.

Now, imagine he is maybe your opposite in style, a Magician, and you can tell that he has a lot of appreciation for you (in other words, he values you a lot).

Well, imagine now that you learn from someone else that this guy has very recently acted in a win/lose way toward other people, as in, overly shrewd (with some trickery and deceit, perhaps even shortchanging them or something).

You confront him about this and he admits it, but says "yeah, but those people were jerks (meaning, he didn't value them), however, I would never do that to you. I like you".

Imagine that, in this hypothetical situation, he really means it. He is not lying (at least not consciously).

Now, my question is: With his current level of character, is he really capable of "discriminating" between being win/lose toward certain people, and being win/win toward you, never deceiving you?

Or would you say that, no matter how much he is convinced that he would never deceive you or "screw you over" and how much he currently values you, he is still INCAPABLE of keeping that promise and will eventually sooner or later deceive you, and therefore it's better to steer clear of him?

In this hypothetical situation, his level of maturity stays the same throughout time.

Thanks,

[Les is more]

THAT is an awesome question. Flip to discussions...

( Look how orderly I am..

[jdjeob]

I thought of a question today: Do we ever really master boundary holes or is something we strive to 'control' because we know these are our weaknesses.

I was thinking about this from a post on the men's forum, I think by MOAM....he was saying he was in line for coffee and was getting irritated because other people where in his way, what were they doing getting coffee at the same time, holding him up LOL? He knows it's a hole, I know it's a hole when I do it, but after I get irritated, I remind myself that I can't control it, so just do the best I can to cope.

[Delboca]

That's a great question, JD.

If I had to venture a guess, I'd say that we can master specific boundary holes, but never our boundary itself. Meaning, I don't think we ever get a PERFECT boundary, but we certainly can strive toward that and be content with our best effort.

[Les is more]

I think that boundary hole could be fixed up. One might look at the people in the line up to blame, one might look at the staff and blame them for not moving fast enough, one might blame the car that was driving too slow in front of you, that put you in this exact line up, at this exact time, so that you had to now wait, yet again.

And then eventually, someone will realize finding blame is just shifting the focus from themselves, to others, and a way of trying to control the uncontrollable, which would be the outside world, so hell, why get mad? It would become useless. I think that having the observing ego to notice when you are doing it is awesome, and then after that, it becomes easy to catch when your doing it again, and then you'd laugh at yourself, which is really healing, and possibly veto's out any bad words you might have thought about uttering under your breath...


However Anger, let's say specifically, is sometimes useful, so don't get rid of it entirely! It's a way of getting emotions out, the trick is to get them out in a constructive way, and then let it go. That is awesome, and probably the best we can hope for, after all we are human and all humans have emotions. We all just have different ones that we battle. It's a constant tweaking I think...

Otherwise, it would be possible to find a perfect human, and well, even with mind OS that isn't possible.

[Delboca]

Otherwise, it would be possible to find a perfect human, and well, even with mind OS that isn't possible.

Until now. Dr Paul and I are working on a new project, it's called MindOS Frankenstein

[jdjeob]

I think that boundary hole could be fixed up. One might look at the people in the line up to blame, one might look at the staff and blame them for not moving fast enough, one might blame the car that was driving too slow in front of you, that put you in this exact line up, at this exact time, so that you had to now wait, yet again.

And then eventually, someone will realize finding blame is just shifting the focus from themselves, to others, and a way of trying to control the uncontrollable, which would be the outside world, so hell, why get mad? It would become useless. I think that having the observing ego to notice when you are doing it is awesome, and then after that, it becomes easy to catch when your doing it again, and then you'd laugh at yourself, which is really healing, and possibly veto's out any bad words you might have thought about uttering under your breath...


However Anger, let's say specifically, is sometimes useful, so don't get rid of it entirely! It's a way of getting emotions out, the trick is to get them out in a constructive way, and then let it go. That is awesome, and probably the best we can hope for, after all we are human and all humans have emotions. We all just have different ones that we battle. It's a constant tweaking I think...

Otherwise, it would be possible to find a perfect human, and well, even with mind OS that isn't possible.

Friends! This was a question for the teleseminar to start a topic of conversation! You guys are too funny!

Totally agree with all this, which is what MOAM was saying too. And when it happens again and again, it appears to me we cannot master it, we can only use our OE like you said Les to distract and chuckle over the situation and our irritation! Maybe it's a Warrior thing and we get more irritated at things like this! LOL

[Les is more]

THAT is an awesome question. Flip to discussions...

( Look how orderly I am..

Okay, don't flip, I got lost and distracted