YOU SPEAK OUT!

[Paul Dobransky MD]

Simply put, I labor many hours weekly for you for free. I have ideas that I know will matter for you to train in, however, I also want to know what is URGENT for you to learn right now.

This is where you can notify me of newsletter topics that you need and want to hear about. This week is HOW TO NEITHER BE A DOORMAT, NOR A "b****", however, I'm sure there are many more.

Post here, and write me at drpaul@womenshappiness.com.

And I will do my best to accommodate you!

[Les is more]

Speak out!? thanks, because I am CONFUSED.

For lack of a better way of putting it, I'm trying to GROW a MISSION. I've already had a child, and am not in a position to be having another ( a father being key here!) I'm awesome at my career, it suits me to a T but I have no passion for it. It's boring. So if not career, if not children, if not men, what is there to have a mission about? You speak of women growing things organically, but I don't get that. My Yoga teacher says my greatest strength is my organic energy, and you know, I have NO idea what that is.

[Les is more]

So when is the book coming out with the answer?

[HereIAm]

I find this question/dilemma interesting since most people are looking for the definition of their true self and we know that can change through a life time somewhat. We know interests change over time. We know what we want in our life changes over time, and that is different for men and women. We know we have certain interests and skills. We bounce off of people, the news, things we read, TV shows, assessments, and find things we would like to do, certain activities appeal to us, so we want to formulate that in a hobby or job. A job would be more of an ideal situation to make us happy, but then there is this word MISSION.

It sounds like an objective, a goal, a reason for living at the moment. I personally have thought of many things, but it is hard to nail it down and then act upon it. I have so many ideas for doing things, creating businesses, wanting to do what makes me happy, but then I don't have the method of putting it all into action. Either I don't have the plan, resources, people power or needed piece to the puzzle, and then I am onto the next idea. As I said I am an "idea person", so I need some one or some thing to help me harness the idea(s) and put something into action. The method has to be easy and people proof in order to succeed. I'm sure there are other factors, but for lack of thinking about them now, I listed only two.

Mission could be life direction, a business, a goal (which we all have many), an interest, a need that has to be fulfilled, and so forth, but maybe there is more to this when it comes to fixing the psychological mess I have within me and that is a personal mission. I contend that maybe we have many missions in our life for various purposes; personal well-being, business related, people and associations, and it all depends on how we want to categorize our life. Do we want to use the hierarchical needs chart or some other pre-defined list to determine our missons? It's all up to us to realize our definitions some how. Life is fluid and so is energy.
This is a good question.

[ArtMuse]

It's like those people who, when asked, no matter what their age, respond with, "I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up!".
The older I get, the more I understand why and how someone could emit that statement.

You're right HereIAm ~ as we change, grow, and have life experiences, the things we thought we wanted often fall away, and we either seek to find something new for a purpose or mission, or we find and put our energy into something new. Sometimes that focus is on something that has been a part of our lives for a long time, sometimes it's something entirely different, entirely new, even unlikely considering what we have done or chosen before.

Like Les, we all come to a point in our lifes where we wonder, "...what's next?". I think the only way to determine that is to try different things, to take action and indulge ourselves with new experiences. Stepping outside of our comfort zone, addressing thngs that in the past have been avoided or ignored, or taking up a new hobby or past time.

Les is the only one who can answer her question...we can only offer suggestions.
(by the way, we miss you Les is more!)
Do you have the same question at this point in your life, HereIAm? ...now that your mother is gone, and your nestlings making their own lives...?

I am coming to the realization that I am ready for something new, or something more. My greatest challenge is finding the courage to take the necessary actions.

[Cheryl]

Hi, HereIAm. I have missed you.

Hi, ArtMuse, wish we had time to talk more often (I could listen to you every day.)

My challenge is not so much courage as it is prioritizing.

How does one choose to place in order of rank of importance among so many things they enjoy, meet all their obligations to others, as well as make room, time and energy for the desired change when that in itself demands so much of one's time, energy and resources. For example, to make room for other things in my life, I had to eliminate my piano--and yet I miss this terribly and wish to have this back--or to take a trip to a foreign country I love, or make room in my life to love a man. Some things seem to have to be put off so far into the future, one wonders if they will ever be achieved--especially when one does not have a mate to share all the other important tasks of daily living. From where is the time supposed to come?

I find having to prioritize so difficult that I am almost paralyzed in my ability to make significant strides in my desired career change so that this is excruciatingly slow to achieve (although I have found a business career site out of England that is helping some with this.)

Maybe Doctor will address this for us.

[jdjeob]

Maybe we 'priortize' lower the things that are the most scary?

[jenjen120]

Or the most difficult...

I guess at some point it turns into procrastination...

So good to see you ladies! I have really missed our discussions!

Jen

[jdjeob]

Miss you all too!

Yes, jenjen...what I wonder though is the tendency to make things more 'difficult' so as to have a valid excuse to not act . People, me included, come up with things that can be hard to argue with. I am not discounting the difficulty of any initiative, and the amount of courage that may be required.

I was also keyed in on Cheryl's comment about getting into a relationship with a man. Not specifically about Cheryl, but about the overall concept. First what if we can't attract an acceptable man, and what if he doesn't want to be with us--lots of emotional risk. Then there's the relationship itself, and what if we fall in love and things don't work out? Lots if pain. If it does work out, this is an incredible amount of intimacy...

This is on my mind after getting over being in love, then being on the verge of being able to fall again, knowing it is not a win/ win, but still being drawn in. I felt myself falling again, and that really scared me. In the past, I went in head first and took my chances. Now I feel like I am not sure I ever want to go there. Interesting.

[jenjen120]

what if we fall in love and things don't work out?

Hahaha is this when we move too quickly and end up living with someone and then realising we don't actually love them?

Seriously now...

This is on my mind after getting over being in love, then being on the verge of being able to fall again, knowing it is not a win/ win, but still being drawn in. I felt myself falling again, and that really scared me. In the past, I went in head first and took my chances. Now I feel like I am not sure I ever want to go there. Interesting.

Yes it can become a place where we don't want to go just based on past painful experiences. I know I felt like that not so much after my marriage ended (at that point I felt that I was quite lovable but that my husband was unable to love me) but I felt that way after a few disastrous, although thankfully brief encounters that I thought were going to be something special.

I think though that provided we dont close off too tightly, those times when we think we are never going to go there again can put us in a mindset that seems very attractive to men - we are the women who are a little bit hard to get, we are busy with other things, we are independent and resilient and those are very appealing traits in a woman.

But very important that we use our OE and not fall into something that is not win/win.

Jen

[jdjeob]

Haha yes falling in love! You know what that's all about!

My personal story is having been in love with a guy I dated from 16 to 22, a kid. I wasn't in love with my husband. I know that now because I fell in love recently as an adult woman--okay, now I know what it's about as a more mature woman.

Jenjen, your comments about what men say they want is right on and I agree!

[heartofagopi]

WELCOME BACK EVERYONE!

I'm so happy to hear from you all again!

The Forum is really gaining a new level of strength with so many former members returning and so many new members joining!

There is so much to be gained here when we all work together and help each other understand (and use well) all of the materials that Dr Paul has offered us.

Its really great to have so many voices of support here!

Teleseminar Tuesday night! If you are able to attend....please do!
If you can't attend....please follow the link that Marek has posted
under the thread topic Teleseminars and type in your questions for
Dr Paul to answer. Then, when you can, download the file and listen
to the teleseminar again and again.
monthly-teleseminars-schedule-download-t1651.html

Marek wrote:

To submit your questions, click the "AttendThisEvent.com" links.

NOW YOU CAN CHAT LIVE WITH EACH OTHER THROUGHOUT THE TELESEMINARS when you log in online!

JULY 2010 SCHEDULE:
EVENT: Women's - The Psyche Empowered Instinct
DATE & TIME: Tuesday, July 6th at 6:00pm Central
TO ATTEND THIS EVENT, CLICK THIS LINK NOW...
http://AttendThisEvent.com/?eventid=13170558
The Password for this Event is: psyche
DISCUSSION: 07-06-2010-the-psyche-empowered-instinct-t2146.html

Looking forward to having everyone join in the calls !

~heart~

[Cheryl]

Thank you for posting the invitation, Heart, and to Dr.Paul for extending this to us.

Was a great call. This was my third one. The teleseminars really are fun. All this time, I had no idea.

Thanks again.

Cheers!

P.S. Thank you, too, Marek.

[heartofagopi]

Hi Cheryl!

So glad to have you as a member and to have your insights here!
Lets start a discussion of last night's call on the teleseminar thread.
I will post a few thoughts and it would be great if you and others would
offer some back and describe how the call made you think/feel/learn.

~heart~

[HereIAm]

Interesting topic as usual: Falling in Love.
Dos and Don'ts,
Should I or Not Worth the Effort,
What does it all mean? - Inside and Outside this Relationship we are experiencing.
How do I feel about the experience - in the moment and one day at a time preferably.
How do I feel after the experience after the relationship has ended?

These are a lot of questions and topics floating around in one's head especially after experiencing something of a past relationship.

Recently, I have thought about relationships as almost a mental and physical need. There is a need and it gets fulfilled by one or both people. Hopefully, the relationship was mature, filled with understanding, and the timing was right for both.

It's almost like buying an item, but then there is the factor of the other person and how do you deal with them. You want and need the item, and the other person is willing to let you use it or borrow it, but you may have to return it in good condition and not worn or used/abused.

So, we must learn about the other person and do right them and have them do right by us. It's the civilized thing to do. We can not be ignorant any longer and they can not be ignorant either. Both must be mature enough to know how to interact with the person; education is first and foremost so we may maintain any relationship in our life.

We must also learn how to deal with ourselves and others when the relationship ends for one to many reasons. Most people do not know how to deal with people. We are lacking in those people skills that we so dearly need. We need to understand people. That's a fact!

Love can be the way we think and feel. It can be the way we express ourselves. It can be the way we think/feel of another person. It can be the subtleties of a relationship. It can be the interaction with another. Love has many meanings and many levels.

How do you know if you or the other person are in love?
Do we recognize what love is?
There are so many questions about LOVE.

Thoughts in our brain, chemicals in our brain, release feelings from past or present and the body experiences those changes in the brain and in our thoughts. It's an amazing discovery and experience to know and understand body changes.

In my lifetime I have only begun to understand some of the intricate details of men and women and how it all comes together in a relationship. It is good to know every thing you can learn about something so important in our lives. The more we know the better off we will be. We need to know the under the surface types of details and definitions. We need to know ourselves and how we deal with people and relationships. Understanding and growth are a wonderful thing!

To be continued in another posting.