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Twilight: Eclipse - Your Ultimate "Defensive Moves" in Dating and Relationships With Men
A simple movie deserves a simple review, and the new movie, Twilight: Eclipse, is no exception.
As a man, and cinema lover, these films so far have annoyed me to no end... that is, until I saw a recent review and article by a middle-aged woman about why she loves Robert Pattinson and his character so much.
It was telling, both about the films but more importantly about our culture.
There is a hunger for courtship - real courtship - and not the kind where a man is just subservient to a woman, but is both fond of her, yet strong. A true gentleman in the medieval sense.
Perhaps Edward Cullen is in fact from that period of time - I haven't paid enough attention so far to notice until Eclipse.
Women of all ages appear to be longing for what both Edward the vampire and Jake the werewolf offer - in the words of the female admirer above, paraphrased: sexual chemistry and tension without merely the wham bam sex act, and more...
...all that is deeper and richer about love than even just the sexual chemistry alone. That's where the "Gentleman" part comes in.
The origin of the word comes not from a "gentle man," but a "genteel" man - a man born of high station, with respect and honor to be sure, but also with a dangerousness, an aggression put in service of his goals, his country, and of course his lady, usually in reverse order.
Edward Cullen is a Gentleman in this sense, and Jake, while also dangerous, primitive, and just barely in control (part of the essence of sexual chemistry), is edged out by the more unconditional love - nee - Gentlemanly love for his Lady.
The Terrible Dilemma of the Boundariless Bella
She is, after all, an adolescent, and one can't expect more than the drama of navigating the treacherous waters of love at her age. But the degree to which she seems to play one boy against the other might strike many of us as unusually cruel if not silly in the narrative.
That is, until one starts to see deeper meaning in the horrendously difficult choice between the two half-men/half-creatures.
You may recall that in the courtship system I lay out for you in the Seventh Sense Program at:
...I talk about how there are three phases to courtship, with three steps each.
1. The first is based on what evolutionary psychologists have called, The Reptilian Brain - the center of the primitive instincts of sexual attraction.
2. The second - the Mammalian Brain - is the center of emotion and therefore love and friendship (hint: Jake has these functions in great supply)
3. And the third - the Higher Brain (or cerebral functions) - the center of the intellect, executive function and maturity of character - which is of course what Edward dominates in.
Add to the battles and struggles of the two boy-creatures for the hand of Bella, and mix in the host of lowly evil armies - both vampire and werewolf alike - and you can clearly see that the most evil and violent among them represent the pure, unhindered, untempered, unrestrained instincts of the Reptilian Brain alone.
Which is frightening, evil and detestable.
The incredible allure of Pattinson's vampire to women (The Team Edwards, as women of this preference call themselves) and Taylor Lautner's werewolf (The Team Jacobs) and the just as challenging conflicted choice - rests in the fact that both boys have all the Reptilian Brained allure - the dangerousness, aggression, goal-driven ambition and discipline to go after what they want, the ability to defend themselves and Bella - but one of the two other areas of the brain involved in courtship too.
In short, Jake is the Reptilian Brained sexual attraction plus the HEART - the emotions of the Mammalian Brain. He is warm, not the walking dead, and it is then not surprising that Bella DOES love him and can admit this in the end - he is the primitive brute with heart, and the strong friendship is palpable.
Yet Edward ALSO has all the sexual attraction of the Reptilian Brain going for him as well, but not as emotionally dramatic and raw as Jake, he is the exemplar of the control and refinements, the Gentlemanliness of the intellect.
Jake is the heart of love, and Edward the mature, Gentlemanly mind of love.
How is a girl to choose? One is more "right" for her - what she is meant for, the man most like her (Jake) - versus the one who is BETTER for her, and what she seeks to BECOME - the mature one, the one with composure yet dangerousness brewing underneath.
Bella IS a girl, but one with whom women are retracing the steps of feminine maturation - the concepts we cover in the new Complete Feminine Empowerment Program:
For a woman to navigate between these two lovers would be pleasant torture to them - two handsome men both vying for her speaks directly to the feminine instinct that pits men to competition with each other in the natural biological process of courtship.
Yet someday she will reach the maturity that shows her clearly that she can't make a complete love out of two different men. There must be a choice, and that between the man with emotional heart, versus the one with intellectual and mature means, refinements, devotion and all the best of character, is an impossible one.
At the level of love and friendship, sexual chemistry without the sex act and its complications is fine, but someday the woman must find all three types of attraction - all three phases of courtship satisfied, in just ONE man.
If there is to be a lifelong - and in this case, literally, a "forever" commitment.
Navigating between the men who are the essence of the two brains of committed love - the emotions of the Mammalian and the intellect and maturity of the Higher Brain, a girl growing into a woman must develop the personal boundaries to keep both at bay until one grows the natural skill of the other as well:
One man who has sexual chemistry with you, AND heart, AND the intellect and maturity of a Gentleman.
Boundaries are the major topic of MindOS Mastery, at:
The Ultimate "Defense Moves"
The ultimate "defense moves" in dating and relationships then are
1. to stave off the true danger of choosing the wrong man - by enjoying the sexual tension without the sex act itself, and for as long as possible
2. to recognize that there are THREE phases to courtship, and only the man who fits all three will be the man for you, for life (or eternity)
3. and to cultivate the boundaries themselves, which set limits on the men who pursue you, compete with each other, and have all the charming and convincing sweet words that tempt you - as you see if the one with heart can develop maturity and commitment, or the mature, intellectual one can bring out his heart, rely more on and go more with his emotions, finally declaring them to you as Edward to Bella.
